Saturday, September 21, 2013

Pregnancy; Scary Stories, Happy Stories

WHERE TO BEGIN?


How 'bout week 17?


I was feeling pregnant up until then with all the nausea, vomiting, headaches, etc, but at week 17, my stomach just popped out one day and I started looking pregnant too, exciting!

We had our anatomy ultrasound scheduled for a week from today, (yes that's futuristic...I will explain why in a minute) so I asked everyone if they thought it would be a BOY or a GIRL (using this clever idea/adorable keychains my mom got us at our trip to Disneyland over the summer).

The overwhelming majority of people guessed it would be a girl. I'm not sure why...it's not like I'm that girly (oh wait). I admit, I really like the idea of headbands and bracelets and 4th of July dresses with ribbons. However, I also REALLY like the whole "big brother" aspect. After all, it worked out very well for me growing up :) 

SO, this past Monday at 4:30 as I was minding my own business watching the Ellen show while Jeff was still at school, my phone rang. Looking back, the conversation was awful, terrifying and uncalled for. It went like this:

"Ms. Mohlman?"

"Yes, this is she."

"Hello Ms. Mohlman this is ______ at the OBGYN office. I'm calling to let you know the          
            results of the pregnancy blood tests you took recently. You came back negative for neural tube 
            defects and trisomy 18, however you screened positive for down-syndrome."

"Wait, what? I----"

"Therefore, because of these very abnormal results, your numbers came back more at risk than that of a 
            35 year-old woman, we are sending you to a specialist and his name is Dr.____, he's a specialist 
            and he's here at the hospital on the 7th floor and I made your appointment for September 25h 
            and 8:30 am."

"............................................WHAT?? So you're saying my unborn child has down-syndrome? How 
            do you, wait, when is my new appointment, wait, can I please speak with my Doctor?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, she already left for the day."

"OH.....well then, but, then, wait, I already have my anatomy ultrasound scheduled with you for the 
             27th. Do I no longer see my doctor anymore and transfer to this new one?"

"I'm not sure, you'll have to see what the specialist says."

"Well, how many women have had abnormal results that you've called since you've been there?"

"Hmm, maybe only three."

".........oh. okay. bye" (I said through the tears welling up in my eyes).

As soon as I hung up, I called Jeff to tell him our child has down-syndrome. He was just as confused as I was until I managed to explain the call I had just received. Then he got frustrated....He told me he has studied ALL about these pregnancy screenings and that most of the time, when these screenings came back abnormal, the woman goes on to have a perfectly normal and healthy pregnancy. The abnormal rates are due to a slightly extra amount of hcg levels that could be caused by just about anything and also due to the fact that it's a screening so it has to factor in all risk rates (I didn't understand the latter part, but he basically said it was like a grading curve on a test, not extremely accurate or telling). 

I felt a little better but I wished I could just talk to my doctor about it. I tried to relax as Jeff suggested we go out to eat instead that night. Our new appointment was still a week away and I didn't know if I could wait that long to find out what was really going on. That night, I prayed a lot that I would be able to get my appointment moved to an earlier day. The next morning, I called this specialist's office. They told us to come in the next day on the 19th. 

I was excited because I knew we'd find out the gender, but I was also nervous for what else he'd find.

We signed in and went right back. The Doctor came in. He was about mid-60's and had been practicing for almost 40 years. I could tell he was VERY knowledgeable. He walked in and said:

"So, I hear you received a slightly abnormal blood screening." (he rolled his eyes-which made me feel better all of a sudden)

"Yeah, I guess, I'm not really sure what it means."

"Basically,  the down-syndrome ratio is every 1 in 250 births. Yours came back 1 in 240. I'd say you have about as good a chance as having a child with down-syndrome as you do winning the lottery." 


I wanted to shout hurray! And then I wanted to cry too...why had the conversation on Monday happened the way it did? Why didn't my doctor just call and tell me that? Why had I gone through such unnecessary panic? He gave me quick ultrasound and looked at the (what he called them) perfect four heart chambers and ventricles, some other anatomy and then he said, "Looks like you've got yourself a normal boy!"

"A BOY???!!!!" Jeff and I smiled at each other.





As soon as we got out of the office, I called my mom and then everyone else in our family. I texted friends and of course, announced it on Facebook :) On our way home, we stopped here.



Earlier that week, we learned it was pirate day at Krispy Kreme, so we stopped for some celebratory doughnuts. Jeff had his left over Halloween eyepatch, bandana, sword and earring in the car, so we got a dozen free of these:





 Later that day, I decided to share the news with some of my girlfriends who were already getting together for a craft day. I brought the unopened box of doughnuts in and opened them for everyone as they screamed with excitement for the news. And later that night, we went to Target and for only 30 dollars got all of these cute little boy outfits :)




(Look-alike BYU Basketball shorts-Jeff was SO excited).



PHEW!! So those are the crazy, yet happy events so far. Note-to-self, if a doctor's office calls, just don't answer it. 


 ;)


Friday, September 6, 2013

Willow Tree Wishes

You've probably seen those Willow Tree Dolls/Angels around in Hallmark, Deseret Book, and other botiques. Maybe you even have one or two that were given to you as gifts. That's not exactly me...in fact, it's the complete opposite-I collect them. The story goes like this...

When I was 18 and ready to head off the BYU for college (and very excited, scared, nervous, etc), my Young Women's President gave me this doll as a gift.

I'd seen these dolls before, but never really paid much attention to them. I looked underneath the doll, where every product has a description  reminder . This one said;
COURAGE-Have the spirit of inspiration & courage.

I took this doll with me to college as a reminder. Ever since then,  I've collected them. Not just because they serve as beautiful decorations, but reminders of what's really important in life. Here are the ones I've collected (22 in total, yes...that's Twenty Two)


FORGET-ME-NOT (Inspired by President Uctdorf's recent Relief Society address)

 ANGEL OF HOPE. Seek the light of hope

ANGEL OF PRAYER. Believe in the power of prayer

ANGEL OF THE HEART. For those who love and are loved

ANGEL OF WISHES. Hold on to your dreams

BRIGHT STAR. Reflecting the light within

BROTHER & SISTER. By my side

ANGEL OF CELEBRATION. With joyful anticipation

 DREAMING ANGEL. Guard your hopes and dreams

FRIENDSHIP. The sweetest gift

HAPPINESS. Laugh, dance, sing, create

LOVE OF LEARNING. Open books, open minds

PROMISE. Hold dear the promise of love

SERENITY. Calm the soul, free the spirit

 SISTERS BY HEART. Sharing/understanding

SUNSHINE. In your life

SURROUNDED BY LOVE. Abounding love surrounds you

THANK YOU. Appreciating your kindness

WISDOM. A lifelong love of learning

AND, my most recent gift from a friend...

CHERISH. Awaiting a miracle


Among those I've collected, there are others I hope to have one day as well...

ABOUNDING. So much love

ANGEL OF MINE. So loved, so very loved

AROUND YOU. Just the nearness of you

ANGEL OF CARING. Always there, listening with a willing ear and heart

CLOSE TO ME. Apart or together, always close (for my mom)

ANGEL OF FREEDOM. Allowing dreams to soar

FREE SPIRIT. Dancing through life with laughter

ANGEL OF HOPE. Each day, hope anew

IRISH CHARM. May luck and laughter lift your days

ANGEL OF MIRACLES. Trusting in life's everyday miracles.

SOAR. A time to reflect, a time to soar

 YOU'RE THE BEST. Thank you for making a difference

Everyday, these dolls remind me of many things that I'm lucky to have and values I'd like to acquire still.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Happiest News on Earth!

YES! It's true............



It won't just be the 2 of us anymore
(at least not anymore once February 20th rolls around)
because....

We're expecting!

Hopefully, this pregnancy goes better than the last (fingers crossed and lots of prayers). But so far, things are looking promising...

 8 weeks:

 12 Weeks:


*It's our Happiest News on Earth*




Tuesday, June 4, 2013

REALLY unlucky Thirteen

This post is not meant to make you feel sorry for me. We ALL have trials and hard times in life that range from very manageable & handleable to unthinkable and unbearable at times. I'm sure you've all had ones you could write a book about. However, recently I've been feeling like it would be good to get everything down in writing, here goes:

I've never been superstitious...at all. But I think this year has changed that. When 2013 rolled around I was hit with ONE THING after ANOTHER. It may just be easiest to make a list:

Trials
# 1/January- My teaching year has been unbelievably stressful this year, especially as January rolled around, things in my classroom seemed to get worse. I won't go into details but basically there were a few students who would behave SO badly, I'd wondered if they had been raised by something other than humans. But then I remembered, these particular kids basically raised themselves, which yes, is very sad, but that didn't make the situation any less stressful. Their bad behavior (to put it VERY nicely) was out of control.  Next, my principal informed me that I'd be moving to 1st grade next year. I'm sure I'll be successful, but I'm VERY nervous. Kindergarten and 1st grade are extremely different, especially in TX, and it will be a lot more pressure, changes, and responsibility.

#2/February-We became pregnant in January!! But Jeff and I had a miscarriage in February. It was a very hard time for us, and not too many people knew about us being pregnant in the first place ( I was 7.5 weeks along), which is not very far, but it was still a big loss and let down.

#3/March-Cue My Parent's Divorce- What else can I say?  Growing up, I had the perfect family, no tensions or issues, or fights, just dinner together every night, help with homework, my parents supporting and loving each other and my brother & I,  church every Sunday and, long nights of laughter and fun. If you had asked me was divorce ever possible? I would have said you were "out of your mind and nothing like that would ever happen." But life happens I suppose, and things change. My mom and dad began having marital issues right about the time I left for college in 2007. They are both such good people, in fact, the BEST people I know. So it's extremely hard to wrap my mind around. (ie: what will future Christmas mornings be like, or Thanksgivings? What about the fact that I'm going to lose the house I grew up in and have so many memories in as a result of this? How can I best serve and support them?) It feels all-encompassing and overwhelming very often.

#4/ April-May-We have not been able to become pregnant again yet. Disheartening.

#5/June-Jeff is extremely stressed about his upcoming Med school 2 STEP exam (one test and one test alone basically determines what kind of doctor he can be, where we will live, how much money we will make, what our FUTURE will be like. HOW can anyone possibly think, "Ooo! I know! Let's determine medical families' futures by an 8 hour exam!!" And then their colleague said, "Wow! Great idea!"

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Moving on. As a result, Jeff has been very stressed and feeling not as prepared as he'd like to be and as such is now going to be pushing his test-date back three weeks, therefore, we've had to cut our summer break and summer plans in half by canceling many of them.

(Here comes the ironic part of the #5 trial. On Sunday, when Jeff and I talked about canceling our Summer plans to push the test-date back, I burst into tears. (Yes, I know this seems a little extreme, but I just felt like, "Seriously? Something ELSE??") I joked with Jeff, "Well, we might as well add ANOTHER hard trial in our life, what difference would it make now? After all, 2013 just seems to be a free for all of hard times..."

Well, be careful what you say...

#6 /(JUNE AGAIN)- 2 days after I made my joke, Jeff noticed 2 funny moles on his calf that hadn't been there before that seem to be funny colors and possibly changing colors. He went into the doctor today to get them checked, and was referred to a dermatologist. His appointment is next week to cut them out to check if they're cancerous or not.

IT HAS BEEN HAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD. I've never been this stressed or cry this much before. Probably because my trials have been evenly separated and spread out in the past, luckily. But no trials come without blessings.


Blessings
#1- One student moved away and the others have gotten a little better, My kindergarteners learned everything they were supposed to and are ready for 1st grade, and The Kinder Quotes, well, if you've read those on FB, they are a blessing in themselves.
#2-At least we know we are able to get pregnant; my heart goes out to those who struggle with infertility
#3- The blessings of comfort and peace that my Sweet Heavenly Father has given me during this is a little to personal and sacred to elaborate on, but suffice it to say, I KNOW He's with me and my family, through little evidences that have occurred, such as time in the Celestial room of the temple feeling my Savior's love "in all the world around me"
#4-See #2
#5- I know we will get where we need to be and are supposed to be in the future, at least we have a small summer break. I know some people don't even have that.
#6 Looking on the bright side, I'm not letting myself get concerned about cancer until the dermatological appt.  So maybe my brain can have so peace about this subject until the appt in 2 weeks.

In the year 2013, have there just 6 trials? No, there have been MANY more (but more insignificant not worthy of being listed because they are the common annoyances everyone has.

But the main thing I wan't to ask............Are there just 6 blessings?



No.




They truly can not be counted, listed, described, or even seen (because I'm sure that's what many of them are, unseen blessings. And for that knowledge in it self, I am blessed.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Engagement Video




My Secret Dreams

Yes, admit it! You have goals in life, dreams, things you've always wanted to do but don't know quite how to get there. I think of mine very often. Besides the WONDERFUL dreams I've already been blessed with, my secret dreams are:

1. To be Belle at Disneyland (more specifically in the Fantasmic show where her dress glitters and sparkles like nothing else in this world)

2. To become a wedding planner.

3. To have my own HUGE Secret Garden (very similar to the book and movie by Francis Hodgson Burnett.


What are your dreams? Because  "Dreams DO come true."

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Delightful Conversations


Something little like this completely made my day on Friday-

I was talking to my 4 year old niece on the phone (actually she was talking to me). After about 25 minutes of her talking my ear off (which I LOVED), I said,
"Well Rachel, Aunt Jill has to go pick up Uncle Jeff, so thanks for talking to me!" To which she responded, "Oh. Okay well...I'm not done yet." (and continued telling me stories for 15 more minutes-WOW, I love that girl!) 

This is how the rest of the conversation went:
“So at Benjamin’s house we were having a bike race and Adam was trying to get the key from Benjamin, but-"

*(I heard my nephew, Adam, in the background trying to get a turn on the phone)

“-Shh!! Adam, I’m talking! But then Adam was too slow so Benjamin got it first. But later we took a bath and we pretended Adam was the scary ocean octopus-"

“Adam, shhhhh! I’m on the phone.”

"And then we got Yougurtland. I like to get strawberry with a cherry and teddy bears."

(I'm pretty sure she meant gummy bears). It was pretty cute. And don't worry, Adam did get a turn to talk to me and asked me all about Disneyland and if I remembered the fireworks and the merry-go-round outside of the Peter Pan ride).

My day was 100% better after discussing teddy bears on frozen yogurt and the merry-go-round at the happiest place on earth. Thanks Rachey and Adam!!

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

I Do Know...